Grandma

Hello. :o) Since so many of my on-line friends visit my site, I thought I'd quit being so silent. This is what's been going on in my life so far this season.

My dear grandmother, who's like a mother to me, was diagnosed with lung cancer last winter, in 2002. She began chemotherapy and radiation treatments, shortly thereafter. I was under the impression that, in spite of the odds, the cancer was gone after several months. I was wrong.

I started taking her in for more chemotherapy last month, December, 2002. She only went in for three more treatments, at the most, and then the week before Christmas, my mom rushed Grandma to the hospital. She was having trouble breathing. When I went in to see her, the nurse told me that her lungs were "shot". We started chatting, and the nurse told me that she (the nurse) was expecting a baby in April of 2003. She said that earlier that morning, they thought they were going to lose Grandmother. The nurse went to pull Grandma up in bed, and Grandma gasped, "You shouldn't be lifting me." Grandma said that, because the nurse was pregnant!

Everyone loved my grandmother, and they took really good care of her at the hospital and at
Mountain States Tumor Institute. They all told me it was because Grandma was so sweet to them. One day, a couple of weeks ago, Grandma held my hand in both of her little hands and cried. She said that she didn't want me to worry about her or to be upset. I told her I wasn't worried. I knew where she was going. I'd just miss her. She said she'd miss me too.

Thursday, January 2, 2003, the woman I love more than any other woman on earth went to be with Jesus Christ, in Heaven. She's my role-model and one of my very best friends. I'm not worried about where she is, but I miss her so much. I had to stop myself twice yesterday, because I was about to call her on the telephone.

She was so proud when Mom told her that I put a tribute to Grandfather on my web site. Mom printed it off for her so she could see it. I'll get a tribute up to Grandma, but it'll take some time. I've experienced such incredible pain at her absence in my life. I didn't know it was going to be this hard. She's very much a part of me and extremely special.