Hello. Death is very hard to live through for many of us. Those of us who are left behind often wonder how am I going to go on without this person, or why now? When my dad died suddenly at the young age of 44, I was in shock. I just couldn't believe it. He had had a bad heart attack five years previously, but no one's supposed to die at 44! Right? He never got to see any of his grandchildren, and his children were practically still children. He was a good man who everyone loved, and it just didn't seem fair. For the longest time, I didn't talk much about his death, except to those very close to me. It was so personal and so very painful. I got so tired of people dear to me saying that maybe it was for the best! For the best, because his dad had to give up a lot of activities he loved, and have surgeries, because of heart problems, all of his life. This way, Daddy wouldn't have to go through what Grandpa went through, but - for the best?! It was best that he was dead???! Daddy's death really did change my life - for the worse it seemed. I started having sleep problems, and I gained a lot of weight. I was in a pretty bad depression but didn't know it at the time. I just wasn't that positive, smiling, vivacious, happy-go-lucky, girl I used to be, anymore. I developed clausterphobia, when I'd never had it before. I think part of it was my severe weight-gain - I was afraid I would get stuck in small spaces (no kidding), and part of it was..... the grave. It just gave me clausterphobia! I was just somehow terrified of the grave - the actual hole in the ground. I had nightmares that my dad came back, but his body was badly decomposing. It was so frightening that I didn't want to sleep! I had never before in my life lost someone so close to me. It was horrible, and I missed him so much!!! Well, it's been almost 13 long years since Dad died. I am still struggling to overcome sleep problems, and I have a ton of weight to lose. I'm not having those horrible nightmares anymore, though. Now, when I dream of my dad, he looks like he did when he was in his thirties (before he got a lot of gray hair), and he's not decomposing. I do, unfortunately, still have clausterphobia. I'm not as depressed as I used to be, though, and I'm still struggling to come out of that pit. Now, I'd like to help others, if I can, just by being here. That's why I've created this web ring. So many people have commented on the web pages I devoted to my dad and to my mom's dad that I thought it might be helpful to connect a lot of hurting people, so we can share our pain with each other. Also, in our sharing, we may just help someone out there a bit who's just surfing the web. Sometimes, just talking about it, and knowing someone else knows what you're going through, is a big help somehow. So, if you too have lost someone very dear to your heart, and you have a web page devoted to them, I invite you to join the Broken Hearts Ring. First, read the ring's rules, below, and then fill out the "join" form. That will add you to the web ring's queue. Then, copy and paste the HTML for the web ring onto your web page about your loved one. After that, email me, and I'll review your page to make sure it meets the Broken Hearts Ring's requirements. If it does, I'll add it to the ring. If you would like to join the Broken Hearts Ring, there are some rules you must follow: 1. Absolutely no pornography or suggestive materials, of any kind, are allowed on this web ring - that includes links to pornographic sites and/or sites that contain suggestive materials of any kind. This is a family web ring, and it should be safe for children to surf. Now that we have that rule out of the way, we can move on to the rest. :o) 2. No hateful messages of any kind, directed at any person(s) or group(s), will be allowed on this web ring. 3. Any sites on the Broken Hearts Ring found to contain any of the information stated above will automatically be removed from this web ring without notice. 4. You must either place the Broken Hearts Ring's code on the page that you submit in the form below or put a direct link from the page you submit to the page containing the Broken Hearts Ring's code. We want to make it easy for people to find the ring, for easy navigation of the ring. 5. You must include some content conducive to this ring on the page you submit for it to be a part of the Broken Hearts Ring. I.E.: a web page talking about your loss of a loved one or a friend or a simple page honoring that person. 6. This is my web ring; I make the rules as I see fit. :o) I retain the rite to deny any site entry into the Broken Hearts Ring - or to drop any site from this web ring that I feel is not conducive to the integrity of the Broken Hearts Ring and/or the above rules. Thank you.
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